


Uranium-235

by zorac



Series: Chemistry [8]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-07-28 23:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20072686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zorac/pseuds/zorac
Summary: A few months ago, Chloe was ready to end it all. Instead, she found three friends who gave her something to live for. Unfortunately, no amount of friendship can stave off her declining health for ever, and time is running out…Really needs earlier stories in the series for context, in particularOxygenandOzone.





	1. Thorium-231

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's been so long since my last update. Other stories took over, and this one was… not easy to write. I'll be posting a pair of new chapters every Thursday throughout August.

###### Chloe

It’s just over a couple of weeks into the new year when I have my first really bad spell since Max came back into my life. I’m not sure how long she’s been there when I wake up, but she looks half asleep too. There isn’t a part of me that doesn’t ache – which seems particularly cruel, given that I usually can’t feel most of those parts at all – and I feel like I’m suffocating. “Hey,” I croak, weakly.

Max immediately sits up. “Hey! How are you feeling?”

“Not great,” I manage. My throat feels like sandpaper.

“I’m sorry sweetie,” Max says, concern etched on her face. She leans over and briefly kisses me. “Water?”

I nod, and she picks up the cup, holding the straw to my lips. I eagerly sip some down, and the cool liquid running down my throat does make me feel the tiniest bit better. “Thanks.”

Max looks me over for a few seconds. “You really don’t have the spoons to be sociable right now, do you?”

I feel immediate relief that she understands, with guilt hard on its heels. “Sorry…”

Max shakes her head. “No need to apologize; we all know that you have bad days as well as good ones. You should get some more rest. I’ll be here if you need anything.” Tenderly, she strokes my face, then places a soft kiss on my lips.

“Would you… sing something for me?” I ask. After Kate mentioned that she played the violin, I insisted that she give me a demonstration; it was beautiful, but classical music was never really my sort of thing. Kate suggested that I get Max to bring her guitar instead, and even mentioned that she’d been working with her on doing vocals as well as just playing.

“I… guess I could do that,” Max says, shyly and uncertainly, before muttering under her breath, “I’m going to get Kate for this.” She retrieves her guitar from its soft case in the corner of the room, then sits back down, plucking at the strings and fiddling with the tuning pegs.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect, sweetie,” I try to reassure her. “I’ll love whatever you play, because I love _you_.”

Max flashes me a nervous smile. “Okay. This is something I’ve been practicing for you.” She starts to play, and a few moments later to sing. I don’t care if she mis-fingers a few notes, or that her voice is a little pitchy. It’s wonderful, because she’s doing it for me.

When Max reaches the chorus, I follow the instructions in the lyrics, and let the music wash over me. “_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You’ll be alright, no-one can hurt you now. Come morning light you and I’ll be safe and sound._”

For a few minutes, everything hurts just a little bit less, but eventually the song has to end. I force my eyes back open. “Thank-you, sweetie, that was beautiful.”

Max blushes. “Thanks, but…” she stumbles to a stop when she sees the look I’m giving her. “Thanks,” she says again. “Now, get some rest; one of us will be here when you wake up.”

“Love you,” I mumble, feeling the tendrils of sleep already reaching up for me. Even Max’s presence isn’t enough for me to want to fight it; not when being awake means being in this much pain. I close my eyes, and feel a soft kiss on my cheek.

“I love you too,” whispered in my ear, is the last thing I hear before drifting off.


	2. Protactinium–231

###### Victoria

Max briefed me on how Chloe is going through a seriously bad patch at the moment, so I’m not expecting much from this visit. I’m just here so that she won’t be alone if she wakes up. That’s why I’m sat beside her bed, catching up on my Insta feed, when some sixth sense alerts me that she’s waking up. I turn to see her eyes staring into mine.

“Hey,” I say softly. “Feeling any better?”

“A little.”

I set my phone aside. “Well, I’m here for whatever you need, but please don’t feel like you have to be sociable.”

“Being awake isn’t much fun at the moment,” she admits, “but I think I’m all slept out, at least for now.”

“Okay, is there anything you want to do, anything I can get you?”

“Something to drink would be nice, but no caffeine. I feel like I should probably eat a little something as well. Then… maybe we could watch a movie; that usually helps take my mind off the pain.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I tell her as I gets up. I bend over to kiss her; gently at first, but Chloe soon pushes her head up just enough to encourage me to deepen the kiss. It must be at least a couple of minutes before I pull away, to see her smiling at me.

“That helped, too,” she tells me.

“Any time, sweetie.” I hurry out to the kitchen, and soon return with a glass of orange juice. I hold the straw up for Chloe, and she sips it greedily. “Joyce is going to heat up some soup for you; she said that’s the best thing when you’re having a really bad time.”

“Mom’s right. Some soup would be perfect.”

“It does sound kinda great; I sweet-talked her into doing me a bowl too.”

“Yeah, right,” Chloe snorts. “Mom worships the ground you walk on; you, Max and Kate. She’d be bringing you soup whether you asked for it or not.”

“You’re probably right. You are _so_ lucky to have her. Joyce has shown me more motherly love in the last three months than my own Mom has managed in the last eighteen years.” The bitterness comes out before I can stop myself. “Sorry, I…”

“Don’t be. You shouldn’t have to pretend that your life is perfect. Not for me, not for anyone.”

“Yeah, but compared to what you’ve gone through…”

“It’s not a competition, Victoria. I mean, if it was, I would totally win, but… what I’m trying to say is that just because my life sucks more than yours doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to acknowledge the parts of _your_ life that suck.”

“That’s the thing,” I tell her, “my life doesn’t actually suck any more. Not since Max, and you… and Kate, Joyce and William. My found family.”

I can see Chloe’s eyes welling up. “I love you so fucking much,” she says.

“I love you too.” I’m leaning forward to kiss her, when there’s a knock at the door, and the moment passes. I go over to open it, and Joyce comes in with a tray holding two steaming bowls of chicken soup. My mouth waters at the smell.

“Why don’t you eat yours?” she says. “I can start helping Chloe.”

“Thanks, Joyce.” I don’t need to be told twice. Once I’m done, she takes my bowl away, and I take over spooning the soup for my girlfriend. “So, what would you like to watch?” I ask her when it’s all gone.

“I’m thinking that it’s been a while since I watched _The Lord of the Rings_.”

I raise an eyebrow. “That’s a lot of movie to get through.”

“Not all three today, obviously,” she says with a grin. “We’ll start with disc one of _Fellowship_ and see how we get on.”

I rifle through the cabinet underneath Chloe’s TV, find the right box, and slip the first disc into the player. Then, I sit back down next to her, and let the score start the work of transporting us to another world, where we can forget about _our_ troubles – at least for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics from _Safe & Sound_ by Taylor Swift and the Civil Wars, from the _Hunger Games_ soundtrack.


	3. Actinium–227

###### Max

Long past the point of knocking, I simply let myself into the Price house and head through to the back room. “Hi, William, how is she today?” I ask, finding him sat at the table having some late lunch.

“Much better, thanks, Max.” I can see the relief on his features. “This is the longest it’s been so bad; I’m glad she’s finally recovering.”

“Yeah, it’s been pretty distressing for us, so… I can’t imagine what it’s been like for Chloe.”

“She’s been a trooper, like always,” he says, but there’s something in his voice that concerns me.

“But…?”

William sighs. “But I’m not sure how many more fights like that she has left in her.” I know what he means. There was one time, a few days ago, when Chloe started to say something that I thought was going to be a reminder of that promise I made her, back the first time I came to visit after the whole possession thing. But, if she _was_ going to ask me to help her die, she thought better of it, and I’m certainly wasn’t going to ask her to clarify _that_.

“I’m not, either. I guess we have to trust Chloe to let us know when the fight becomes too much for her.”

“I’m proud that you have the maturity to see it that way,” William says.

“Chloe’s not the only one Kate has been helping to come to terms with things.”

“She certainly has a wise head on her shoulders. I think we’ve all benefited from a dose or two of her faith without judgment. Anyway, don’t let me keep you from Chloe. She had her lunch at a more sensible hour than I, so she’ll probably be waking up from her nap soon.”

“Okay, but don’t forget that I come here to see you and Joyce, too.”

Still, I follow his suggestion and head through to Chloe’s room. She’s just waking up, so I get a groggy, “hey, Max!” as I come through the door.

“Hey, babe!”

Chloe blinks at me, owlishly. “Babe?”

“No?”

“No.”

I lean over, and kiss my girlfriend. “Sorry.”

“Save it for Victoria,” Chloe says, but she’s smiling at me.

“Yeah, right. I don’t even want to _think_ about the takedown I’d get if I tried calling _her_ ‘babe’.”

Chloe considers that. “I see your point.”

“So, your Dad says you’re feeling better today?”

“I am; not a hundred percent, but I think I’m past the worst of it now. That was a seriously shitty couple of weeks though.” She hesitates, eyes darting away from me. “Not sure if I’ve got the strength left to get through another attack like that.”

“I understand that now. I’m not going to ask you to stick around just for me, not when you’re in that much pain. Not now I’ve seen what it does to you.”

“I know you wouldn’t. And with you, and Victoria, and Kate, I’ve got more people to live for now, so I’m not going to give up easily, but… my time is running out.”

“I know,” I say, fighting back tears. “And we’ll be here to support you. Whatever you need.”

“I never doubted it. I’m just sorry that…”

“Chloe Elizabeth Price, don’t you _dare_ apologize for what happened to you.”

Chloe blinks, smiles, and abruptly changes the subject. “So, now that I’m on the mend, I guess there’s no reason to put off the last part of my _Lord of the Rings_ marathon.”

I smile back. “It’s a good thing I’ve seen these before,” I say, as I go over to the TV cabinet to fish out the second disc of _The Return of the King_, “or I’d be totally lost.” I’ve only seen half a movie’s worth of Chloe’s re-watch. “Thanks for sticking me with all the endings, thought.”

“Not enough of them,” she mutters, “I’m still bitter that they didn’t include the scouring of the Shire.”

“Right, because what this film desperately needed was to be another half hour longer…”


	4. Francium–223

###### Kate

It’s Valentine’s Day so, naturally, I’m arriving at Chloe’s house. I volunteered to stay with her this evening so that Joyce and William can go out together. Max and Victoria tried to, but the Prices were having none of it. They’re secretly planning to be here later, instead, and I’m looking forward to finding out how they’ll explain _that_ to me, given they don’t know that _I_ know about their relationship with Chloe.

I let myself in through the front door and call out a greeting, getting a muffled response from somewhere upstairs, then make my way to Chloe’s room. She looks… tired. “Hey, sweetie, how are you?” I ask, concerned.

“Not great,” she admits.

“I’m sorry. You want me to call Max, tell her and Victoria not to come?”

Chloe shakes her head. “No, I don’t want to miss out on my last chance at having a Valentine’s Day with my girlfriends. I never really expected to even get this one.”

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“The blouse, like we agreed, and… would you be able to do some makeup? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear any, but…”

I smile. “Actually, you have; quite a few times. My mother made very sure that I know how to ‘do my face’ without looking like I’m wearing any. Apparently it’s very important that I always look my best for whatever man I’m going to end up married off to – without looking like a harlot, of course. She had me teaching Ruth over the summer, so I’ve got plenty of practice on someone else as well.”

Chloe looks me right in the eyes. “You have far more worth as yourself, than as someone’s future wife,” she tells me, “you know that, right?”

“I do, but my mother… her family are all like that: ‘the man is the head of the household, and his wife must submit to him.’ The most rebellious thing she ever did in her life was marry my father, who’s from a somewhat less strict church. When I got the scholarship to Blackwell she was only excited because she hopes it will get me into a better college where I’ll meet a better husband – after which she expects me to settle down and become a dutiful housewife.”

“I wish I could be there to see it when you disappoint her,” Chloe tells me, with a sad smile. I reach out, and cup her cheek in my hand. It’s perhaps an oddly intimate gesture between two friends, but since Chloe can’t hug me, or feel it if I take her hand, we’ve had to improvise.

A couple of minutes later, William pops his head around the door to let us know that they’re leaving. A couple of minutes after that, I sneak upstairs to borrow Joyce’s make-up bag. I take my time; I want to do a good job of this so my friend can look her best for her girlfriends on Valentine’s Day. We quickly decide against the original plan of a ‘natural’ look; it’s not a man we’re trying to fool, and Victoria at least would see right through it. Instead, I make the most of all the unsupervised practice I got in with Ruth, who insisted on watching YouTube tutorials and learning techniques which our mother most certainly would not have approved of.

Once I’m done, I nervously hold up a mirror so that Chloe can take a look at my work. There’s a long moment where I’m desperately trying to gauge her reaction before she finally speaks. “I… I’m beautiful,” Chloe says, in wonder and disbelief.

“You always have been,” I tell her, as firmly as I can manage, “I’m just happy I was able to help you see that.” Also, it seems like I can no longer pretend to myself that I don’t have crushes on all _three_ of my best friends.

“Thanks, Kate, I… I wish I could see what you see, what Max and Victoria see. It’s just… hard for me, now.”

“I know. Anyway, let’s get you dressed.” I walk over to Chloe’s wardrobe and retrieve the midnight blue silk blouse that we picked out on a shopping trip a few days ago. From my bag comes the bra we bought - black, lacy, and undeniably sexy; definitely not something Chloe had wanted her parents to accidentally come across. Pulling her forward to remove her pajama top and put on the new clothes is hard to do by myself, but I manage it. Adjusting the… fit of her bra is a little embarrassing, though. It’s also oddly reassuring: even when I’m essentially groping her breasts, I don’t feel the slightest flicker of _sexual_ desire; further confirmation that I’m right to identify as ace.

I stand back and hold up the mirror again. “What do you think?”

“I’m lookin’ _good_,” she says with a smile, “but you didn’t need to fasten the blouse all the way up. Could you undo the top couple of buttons?” I smirk at her, and unfasten three. “Much better.”

A moment later, the doorbell rings, right on schedule. “Hmmm, I wonder who that could be?” I ask Chloe mischievously, before walking through the house to open the front door. “Max? Victoria? What are you two doing here?” I ask, feigning surprise. “And since when do you ring the doorbell?”

“We didn’t want you to think we were burglars or something,” Max explains.

“And we weren’t really comfortable going out celebrating, not when Chloe’s stuck here.”

“Well, as it happens, the two of us had planned to have a nice evening together…” I begin, but when I see the flashes of guilt on my friends’ faces, I relent. “…but actually, I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t sleep well last night, so I’m not really up for it. If you’re okay looking after Chloe, I think I’ll go upstairs and have a lie down, maybe listen to some music…”

“Of course,” Max says, perhaps a little over-eagerly, “you need to look after yourself first.”

“Thanks. Give Chloe my apologies, would you?”

“Absolutely,” Victoria says, genuine concern on her face. “I hope you feel better tomorrow.”

I nod, and head upstairs, to Chloe’s old room. Victoria insisted on buying a futon to go in there, so that if any of us are visiting Chloe late we don’t have to drag ourselves all the way back to Blackwell. Instead of lying down to sleep, I pull out some of my assigned reading. I do put my earbuds in, though, and play some loud music. I’m not entirely sure what my friends have planned, but I figure it’s best to be prepared if it’s something I’d prefer not to hear…


	5. Radium–223

###### Chloe

The moment I wake up, I know it’s going to be another bad day. At this point, I’m struggling to remember the last time I had a good one. From what I overheard yesterday evening, unless I make a miraculous recovery in the next couple of days, I’ll have to be transferred to the hospital. Something tells me that once I go in there again, the only way I’m coming out is in a box. Slowly, I open my eyes and look around; no visitors at the moment. Trying to keep my best face on for Max and Victoria is almost impossible now, and the expressions on their faces every time I slip damn near break my heart.

There’s a soft knock on the door, and a moment later Kate pokes her head around it. She’s the one person I can actually face seeing right now, so I try to force I smile. I don’t think it works.

“Jesus, Chloe, you look like shit,” she says.

I simply gape ate her. I’ve _never_ heard Kate swear or blaspheme before, and now she’s done both in one sentence – while insulting me! Realization hits me just as I see the twinkle in her eye, and I burst into laughter; a moment later, she joins me.

“Thanks, Kate, I needed that,” I tell her. It comes out as a hoarse whisper, but already I’m feeling better.

I detect a little relief in her answering smile. “I’ve been waiting for the right moment to drop that one on you.” She hesitates, then comes over and sits next to me. “I would say that I didn’t mean it, but I did promise to always tell you the truth.”

“You did, and I’m grateful for it. I need someone who doesn’t sugar-coat things for me.” I turn, and look her in the eye. “I’m probably going to die soon, aren’t I?”

I see the emotions play across her face. She swallows, before replying in a blessedly steady voice, “yes, I’m afraid so. The doctors say that, barring a miracle, you’ve got no more than a couple of weeks left.”

“Let me guess: the Germans have outlawed miracles.”

“Only in Casablanca; here in Arcadia Bay, anything’s possible…”

“Oh Kate, I think we both know that I’ve used up my quota of miracles lasting _this_ long.”

“I’ve been praying for you every day, but… yes, I think you’re probably right.”

I nod slowly. “I’m tired of fighting this. I was ready to give up, on that day when Max first came back to me, but the three of you gave me a reason not to. This time… it’s not giving up, it’s accepting the inevitable. What quality of life I managed to get back these past few months is all but gone.” I’m interrupted by a fit of hacking coughs; Kate is quick with her handkerchief to while away the drool afterwards. 

“Thanks. For… everything. For your honesty, and your wisdom. For being so strong for me, and for giving me some of that strength. I’m not sure how I would have coped without you. For all that it’s Max and Victoria who’ve brought me happiness, please know that happiness would never have been possible without you. I love you so much.”

“Love…?”

I manage a small smile. “Not romantically, like… a best friend, or a big sister, only… more. Does that make any kind of sense?”

“It does, and… I love you too.” Her face begins to crumple, but she takes a deep breath and pulls herself back together. “I’m going to miss you so fucking much.”

I fight back the inappropriate urge to laugh at her cursing for a second time. “I would say ‘me too,’ but…” I give her a grim smile. “Anyway, could you boot up my computer and ask Mom or Dad to help get me into my chair?”

“Chloe… are you up to that?”

“Not really, but there’s something I want to do before I go, and I think this is going to be my last chance. I’m also going to need you help… after.”

From the way she looks at me, I know Kate realizes that I don’t mean after I’m done on the computer. “Of course, Chloe; whatever you need, I’m here for you.”


	6. Radon–219

###### Max

Victoria drives the three of us down to the Price house. I’m not sure why William insisted that we all come, but given how Chloe’s been deteriorating the last few days, I can guess. The delicious scents from the kitchen assail us the moment we step through the front door. I take a deep breath, in through my nose, and for a moment I’m transported back to Christmas, a few short weeks ago.

“Good evening, ladies,” William greets us. “Thanks for coming. Dinner should be ready in a few minutes.” He doesn’t volunteer what the occasion is, and we don’t ask. Instead, we let him direct us through to where Chloe is already sat at the head of the table. I haven’t seen her up in her chair since she insisted on taking a turn along the seafront last week – and paid for it with a couple of particularly bad days. I understand why she did it, even if it took a little more explaining from Kate than perhaps it should have. Thinking that my girlfriend is ‘living as if she’ll die tomorrow’ is, perhaps, a little too painfully close to the truth.

When we realize that Kate followed William to help Joyce in the kitchen, Victoria and I take the opportunity to give Chloe a proper hello, and that helps the smile on my face be a little less forced. Still, our girl looks exhausted, as if she’s holding it together through sheer force of will. But, if she wants one last big happy family dinner, then we’ll all do our best to make sure that’s exactly what she gets.

When the others start bringing the food through, none of them comment on the fact that Victoria and I have taken the seats either side of Chloe, so we’ll be the ones helping her eat. I wonder – not for the first time – if her parents suspect what’s going on between the three of us; I’ve certainly caught the occasional look from them that gave me pause. Still if they do, I take their lack of comment as tacit approval. If one thing is abundantly clear, it’s that Joyce and William’s top priority is their daughter’s happiness.

In no time at all, the table is laden with a selection of Chloe’s favorite foods; it’s hard to know where to start. As she insists on having “some of everything, obviously,” Victoria and I spilt that between us, taking in turn to feed her morsels. The mood around the table is surprisingly upbeat. There are plenty of ‘little Chloe and Max’ stories, Kate gently teasing Victoria about her summer with Sangeeta, even Joyce and William telling anecdotes about their teenage years. As the meal goes on, the lines on Chloe’s face smooth out, and her smile reaches her eyes. If her laughter occasionally gives way to coughs, then we take care of it without fuss or derailing the conversation.

Victoria volunteers us to clear the table, and once that’s done we sit back down, taking a short break in the hopes that we’ll somehow miraculously find room for dessert in a little while. “So, um, I know it’s not Thanksgiving,” Chloe says, “although it does kinda feel like it, but I just wanted to give thanks for the five of you. Every one of you, each in your own way, has made my last few months not just bearable, but actually surprisingly great. I love you all.” She blinks, and I quickly use a napkin to dap at her eye. “Anyway. Your turns. And none of you are allowed to say me, because I already know I’m awesome.”

Joyce goes first. “In that case, I’m thankful for Kate volunteering to spend all morning in the kitchen with me.” That explains why we didn’t see her at breakfast; or at all, until just before we came down here.

“I’m thankful that my wife is still willing to put up with my terrible jokes, after all these years,” says William.

“I’m thankful for my amazing girlfriend,” Victoria says, giving Chloe a wink.

“Same,” I agree, shooting a look at Chloe which lets her know I actually mean both of them.

“And I’m thankful that I got to experience what Thanksgiving dinner is like without my Mother at the head of the table.” I look at Kate in surprise, and get the distinct impression that she didn’t mean to say it out loud. She doesn’t say anything else, though, just gives a small, almost absent-minded nod.

“You go, Kate,” I hear Chloe say, barely even a whisper. Then, more loudly, “so, everyone ready for lots of ice-cream? The one true dessert. Say… Kate, is it true that after God spent six days creating the world, he then invented Sundaes?”

“It’s true,” Kate replies with a solemn nod, “Genesis 1:33.” There’s a moment of stunned disbelief, and then we all burst into laughter.


	7. Polonium–215

###### Victoria

When Max gets the call from William to tell us that Chloe’s been taken into the hospital, it doesn’t come as a surprise; we knew this was coming. That doesn’t stop Max from bursting into tears, and as I take her in my arms, I’m crying too. We both know that the end is near, that soon our girlfriend is going to be gone. I have a feeling we’re going to be doing a _lot_ of crying over the next few weeks.

Some time later, there’s a soft knock on my dorm room door. “Come in, Kate,” I call.

“How’d you know it was me?” she asks. Her face is red and puffy, just like I imagine mine is.

“Nobody else is that quiet. I take it you heard?”

“Yes. William said something about working out a rota.” She pulls out her phone, and I reluctantly release Max. Kate shows us a shared calendar, around half of which is already blocked out by Joyce and William. Between the three of us, we fill up the empty spaces; it’s going to mean skipping a few classes, but right now that feels irrelevant compared to making sure that Chloe is never alone.

“One more thing,” Kate says. “I have some… instructions for you.” I raise an eyebrow at that. “From Chloe,” she clarifies. “This is about what _she_ needs.”

“Okay,” says Max, nodding. “Chloe comes first.”

“One: no telling Chloe that she’s going to be okay; we all know that isn’t true, and pretending otherwise is only going to hurt her.” I nod slowly. I have a feeling I would have been tempted to do just that, and that it would have been more about trying to convince myself than anyone else.

“Two: try not to cry all over her. You have each other for that – and me. I know we’re all going to slip on this one, but we need to try and be strong for Chloe.”

“Okay, we can try,” I tell her.

“And if _you_ need a shoulder to cry on…” Max adds.

“I will,” says Kate. Her eyes flick to me and I give her a small nod. “Thanks.” She blinks back tears. “And three: when the time comes, let her go. I know it will be hard, but…”

“We don’t want to ask Chloe to prolong her suffering just so that we can put off saying that last goodbye.” I say, my voice almost a whisper.

“I made a promise to her,” agrees Max, “back when… when she asked me to help her end it.” She turns, and buries her face in my chest; I can feel the sobs shaking her body.

Kate’s lip is trembling too. “I should…” she begins, turning towards the door.

“Come here,” I finish the sentence for her, patting the bed next to me. After a brief hesitation, she comes over and sits down. I put my other arm around Kate, and pull her head onto my shoulder. The three of us sit there in shared grief; it doesn’t make the pain of what’s to come any less, but at least none of us is feeling it alone.


	8. Astatine–215

###### Chloe

Waking up to find myself in a hospital room doesn’t exactly come as a surprise. I have vague, fragmented memories of the ambulance ride here, but I knew it was coming well before that. I open my eyes to see Max sitting in the corner, strumming her guitar and singing softly to herself in words that I can’t quite make out. I decide to simply lie here and watch her, enjoying the show. The way she bites her lip and furrows her brow as she stops to retry a chord sequence is just too cute.

When she finally looks up and sees me watching her, the expression on her face tells me that I’m caught. A moment later, it breaks into a beautiful smile. “You spying on me?” Max asks as she carefully puts her guitar down and comes over to me.

“Am I not allowed to admire my girlfriend being adorable?”

“Well, if you put it that way…” She bends over to kiss me, before sitting down in a chair next to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Not great,” I admit, “but I guess I’m at the point where they’re not worrying so much about restricting my painkillers.” I detect a slight flinch at my bluntness, but nothing more. I hope that means Kate got my message across.

“I… understand. We all do. Whatever you need.” _Even if it’s to increase that dose even further._ She doesn’t say it, but I know that she means it.

“Somehow, I don’t think I’m going to be needing that.” I can sense that the end is near; a few days, tops. My words just hang in the air. Max doesn’t seem to know how to respond to that, and I’m not sure what else to say. We’re saved from the awkward silence by a knock on the door.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” says Victoria, breezing in. “I have to say, it was rather inconsiderate of you to sleep through my last visit.”

I can’t help but smile at her feigned indignation. “I’m very sorry that I missed you.”

“As well you should be,” she agrees, coming over to kiss first me, then Max. Then, more seriously, “how are you feeling?”

“Like I don’t want to answer that question any more.”

“Then we’ll pretend I didn’t ask. Anyway, I’m here to entertain you for the next few hours, and then William will be along to regale you with some anecdotes that you’ve only heard a few dozen times before.”

“But he tells them so _well_,” Max says, earnestly. I can’t help but laugh, despite my discomfort. “Anyway, I should probably be going; I have schoolwork to catch up on.” She gives me another kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Love you.”

“Love you too, Max,” I say, and my eyes follow her as she leaves the room, before settling on Victoria. “So, how exactly _are_ you going to entertain me?” I ask as she takes the seat Max vacated. “I should warn you that our girlfriend set the bar with her musical talents.” Victoria raises an eyebrow. “I didn’t say it was a _high_ bar.” We both laugh at that. “Seriously, though, she was playing and singing to herself, like she was trying to figure something out; stopped the moment she realized I was watching her.”

“Maybe she’s trying to write a song for you?” Victoria suggests.

“I was wondering if it was that, too. If so, she’ll need to hurry things along.” If she reacts to the reminder of my impending mortality, Victoria covers it even better than Max did.

“So, how would you like to be entertained?” she asks instead.

I think for a moment. “Would you read to me?”

“Whatever you want, sweetie.”

For a moment, I consider getting Victoria to look up some hentai tentacle porn, just to see if she can keep a straight face – or to watch her squirm. Then again, she’s a closet anime geek, so who knows, she might actually enjoy it. “There’s a book in the bedside cabinet,” I tell her instead.

“Okay,” she says, then retrieves the book, turns to the marked page, and starts to read. “Chapter Nine: At the Sign of the Dancing Dove.” I close my eyes, and allow the familiar words to wash over me, smiling as Victoria starts to put on voices for the different characters.

“I love you so much,” I tell her when she takes a brief break at the end of the chapter.

“I love you too,” she replies, then carries on reading.


	9. Bismuth–211

###### Kate

As usual, I arrive at the hospital a few minutes early, to pay a visit to the small chapel. I kneel before the altar and say a silent prayer to thank God that I get to see my friend one more time, and to ask Him to let her live to see me again – or for her passing to be painless, if that is what she would prefer. Afterwards, I make my way upstairs and sit in the waiting area near Chloe’s room; I don’t want to intrude on what might be Joyce’s last hour with her daughter. I perform my breathing exercises until the alarm on my phone lets me know that it’s time. I take a moment at the door to compose myself, and put on my best smile, before stepping inside.

Joyce looks up from the book she’s reading to Chloe. “Hello, Kate, is it alright it I finish this chapter?”

“Of course, Joyce.” I exchange nods with my friend, then sit quietly in the corner until she’s done. I play a mindless game on my phone while they say their goodbyes, to give them a little privacy.

“Hey, Kate,” Chloe calls softly once her Mom is gone. I put my phone away and go over to sit next to her.

“Hello, Chloe. Would you like me to carry on reading to you?” It’s eleven o’clock at night, but Chloe sleeps whenever she needs to these days, so it could be several hours before she’s tired again.

“In a little while, perhaps, but could we talk first?”

“Of course, whatever you want.”

“I… I think it’s almost time. Another day, two at most. I can feel it. I’m ready for it. If I can just see all the people I love one last time, I think that would be enough.” She gives me a curious look, as if she’s carefully weighing up what she’s about to say. “Spending so much time with you, and confronting my imminent mortality, has gotten me thinking. I’m not going to make a deathbed conversion or anything, but… I’m not damning my immortal soul or something by wanting this to be over, am I?”

I feel a small stab of guilt in my chest. Have I done this? Have I planted that seed of doubt in her mind? I reach out to tenderly cup her cheek. “No, Chloe, of course not. There’s a difference between actively seeking out death, and simply welcoming its embrace. For all my mother may talk about suicide being a mortal sin, I refuse to believe that the loving God I _know_ would blame you if you stop fighting, not when all it will do is prolong your suffering a little longer.”

I can feel a little of the tension leave Chloe’s face. “Thanks, Kate, that helps. I think I like your God better than the ones I hear about on the news.”

I shrug. “It’s an unfortunate truth that when it comes to religion – like so many other things – it’s those with the most extreme views who have the loudest voices.”

“I guess so. Look, In case this _is_ the last time I see you, I just wanted to tell you again how much I love you. I don’t have the words to express what your friendship has meant to me. Or to my parents and girlfriends, even if they don’t realize it.”

“I… I love you too. It has been a pleasure and a privilege to be your friend.” I wipe away a tear I can feel forming in the corner of my eye, and pick up the well-thumbed copy of _Trickster’s Choice_ from the bed-side cabinet. “Now, before we get too sappy, shall I read you some more of this?”

“That would be good,” Chloe says. “I’d like to finish the series before my time runs out.”


	10. Thallium–207

###### Max

“Play it for me, Max,” Chloe says as soon as I’ve kissed Victoria goodbye. It comes out more like a croak, though.

“I don’t know what you mean, Miss Chloe.” She just gives me a look. I pick up my guitar, searching for inspiration, and then it hits me. I begin to sing, guessing at the chords. “_You must remember this; a kiss is just a kiss…_”

Chloe lets out an awkward, coughing laugh. I hurry over to check on her. “Not that, dummy… you were writing…”

I flush a little. “It’s not finished yet.”

“Can’t really wait,” she replies. Her expression tells me she means that entirely literally.

“Okay, I’ll do my best.” I’ve never written a song before, but I wanted to write one for Chloe. Unfortunately, my ambition outstripped my ability; I have a mostly-finished melody, and some snatches of lyrics that might someday be assembled into a coherent whole, but I’ve never really managed to successfully bring them together. For her, though, I’ll try.

I retrieve my guitar, take a deep breath, and start to play. The look of pure love in Chloe’s eyes gives me a confidence I’ve not felt before. Sure, the song is still rough around the edges, but I mange not to to flub any chords, or stumble over the words. When I reach the chorus, “_I remember when we were pirates…_” I can see tears on Chloe’s cheeks, and my own vision is getting a little blurry.

“That was beautiful, Max,” she says when I’m done, and I realize that I don’t care how imperfect it was. The only thing that matters to me is that Chloe liked it. “Will you play it again?”

I smile so hard it almost hurts. “Of course I will, sweetie.” When I’m done, Chloe asks me to read to her, the few remaining chapters of her book. It’s the last one set in the universe she’s been working her way through, and that feels… ominous.

When I reach the end, and put the book down, Chloe opens her eyes and looks up at me. “Thanks, Max. For… everything.” Her voice is labored.

“Of course. Whatever you need. Is there anything I can do for you… get for you?”

“I’m just… so tired,” Chloe says.

“Then you should get some rest,” I tell her.

“Yeah,” she manages, as her eyelids droop. “Will you… sing me something else?”

“Of course I will, my love. Goodnight, and sweet dreams.”

“Love you too. Always.” She closes her eyes. “Goodbye, Max.”

It takes me a moment before I realize what she said. Not ‘goodnight’, but ‘goodbye’. Part of me wants to shake her, wake her, tell her not to give up, but I know that’s a selfish wish. I remember what Kate told us, that when the time came we’d need to be ready to let Chloe go. I think _she’s_ been ready for a few days now, hanging on for us; it’s not fair to ask her to keep suffering. Instead, I pick up my guitar. I already know what I’m going to play; I’ve been practicing it, just in case I was the one here when this time came.

I pluck the first few notes, then strum as I begin to sing. “_Lay down your sweet and weary head. Night is falling, you have come to journey’s end. Sleep now, and dream of the ones who came before. They are calling from across the distant shore._”

As I sing, I can see the lines on her face smooth out, and the rhythmic beeping from the monitor begins to slow. I don’t even bother to try and blink back or wipe away the tears which are streaming down my face. What I won’t do is allow my voice to falter. Not now. Not when I know in my heart that Chloe will never hear it again. Will never hear anything again.

“_What can you see on the horizon? Why do the white gulls call? Across the sea, a pale moon rises. The ships have come to carry you home. And all will turn to silver glass. A light on the water, grey ships pass into the West._”

As the last few notes fade away, the expression on Chloe’s face is… serene. The monitor emits a few last, irregular beeps, and then a single constant tone.

She’s gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. This day was always coming, and I ran out of excuses to put it off. The story isn't over, though; I have more to say about all these characters, starting next Thursday with the first chapters of _Lead_.
> 
> Lyrics from _Into the West_ by Annie Lennox.
> 
> Thanks for crying.


End file.
